.

I felt the urge to write and rambling in English, so yeah. Excuse me.

This is about the talk I had with my mum when she came back from taking my brother to his practicing place, my church. Well, she told me that my EX-mentor was looking for me, and he wanted me to join his small - err, what do you call it, gathering? But I dunno why, I spat and I simply shrugged at the statement.

I was once the part of that gathering. But I quit. Why? I simply said that I don't belong there. It roots back to at least two or three years ago. I won't give much details but to put long story short, I was the main character of that drama. When I left, the next day I was told that another person took my place - I don't even know, they don't even know me. When they performed, I nearly cried. I was supposed to be playing there. I was the one supposed on the stage. Riv knows the details.

I don't care if they mean it or not. It's just, I'm not going to give them second chance to use me and then dispose me like I'm a recyclable puppet. I don't care if they apologized. It doesn't change the fact that they used me. It doesn't change the fact that they make me cry. It doesn't change the fact that they have dismissed my trust on them, thinking that I am someone they can toy with. I don't care if this leads to the torn friendship between me and her. She chose them more as her "friends" rather than me. Don't mock me. I can stand on my own. There are so many people out there who cares for me than just a bunch of self-claimed more spiritual people than the rest of the people. 

Since the beginning, I never liked the girl that took my position. With this, I even came to hate her. 

Don't sympathize with me. I can stand on my own. I will care for people who care about me, and those who offend me, I won't give a damn.

 

~Let me be your illuminating shield...~

Utsusemi (Empty Shell)

Wordpress gw kayaknya nggak bisa diakses entah napa, sepertinya gw lupa password. Jadi hari ini gw iseng aja bawa translasi Utsusemi, hira + romanji + english + indo, maklum gw rajin bawahahaha.

Utsusemi (Empty Shell)

Itsuka Tenma no Kuro Usagi ED

Composer, Arranger & Singer: Akiko Shikata 

Written by Tsukiko Amano

Album: Utsusemi

Kanji, romanization & English Lyrics thanks to http://animelyrics.com

追 憶の果てに 静かに揺らめく
永遠に綴る 遥かの約束
かなしみに濡れた
ウツセミ コワシテ
tsuioku no hate ni shizuka ni yurameku
eien ni tsuzuru haruka no yakusoku
kanashimi ni nureta
utsusemi kowashite

At the edges of my recollection, the distant promise
That continues for eternity sways silently.
Destroy the Transient World
That is drenched in sadness.

Di ujung-ujung benakku, janji yang telah jauh dari pelukanku,
Yang terus berlanjut untuk keabadian, berdansa dalam diam
Hancurkanlah dunia yang transparan ini,
Yang telah tenggelam dalam kesedihan.
絶望を 摺り替えて 孤独を愛でてた
ただひとり
君に出会う日まで
zetsubou o surikaete kodoku o medete'ta
tada hitori
kimi ni deau hi made

Changing out my despair for loneliness, I raised it with love,
All alone,
Until the day I met you.
 
Kesakitan karena kesendirian, kutumbuhkan dengan cinta,
Sendirian,
Sampai pada hari kita bertemu.
此処へおいで
心重ねよう
君の棘を 取り去ってあげる
崩れ落ちた 未来へ奏でる
叫び声を 拾い上げて
接吻交わそう
koko e oide
kokoro kasaneyou
kimi no toge o torisatte ageru
kuzureochita mirai e kanaderu
sakebigoe o hiroiagete
kuchizuke kawasou

Come to this place,
And let us overlap our hearts.
I will take out your thorns.
I play to the future that has crumbled to ruin.
Pick up your yell,
And let us share a kiss.

Datanglah ke tempat ini,
Dan marilah kita satukan hati kita 
Aku akan mengambil semua duri yang menusukmu di dalam,
Aku akan bermain musik untuk masa depan yang telah runtuh
Marilah berteriak,
Dan berciuman
愛に裏切られ 囀(さえず)る小鳥は
鳥籠を求め 彷徨い続けた
感情を閉じる
鍵ナド 無イノニ
ai ni uragirare saezuru kotori wa
torikago o motome samayoitsuzuketa
kanjou o tojiru
kagi nado nai no ni

The little bird that was betrayed by love
Continued to wander, searching for a birdcage.
She locked up her emotions
EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NO KEY.

Sang burung kecil yang telah dikhianati cinta,
Terus menerus mengembara, mencari sebuah kandang
Ia mengunci semua emosinya,
Meskipun tidak ada kunci untuk menutupnya.
柔らかな傷口を 愛撫するように
ただ深く
土に埋もれていた
yawaraka na kizuguchi o aibu suru you ni
tada fukaku
tsuchi ni umorete ita

As if caring for an open wound with love,
I buried it deeply
Within the earth.

Seakan-akan menyembuhkan sebuah luka dengan cinta,
Aku menguburnya dalam-dalam,
Di dalam tanah yang terpijak.
君の毒に
その手の温度に
僕の胸は 熱を帯びてゆく
此処へおいで
すべてが虚(うつろ)に
飲み込まれて 壊れる日も
君を数えたい
kimi no doku ni
sono te no ondo ni
boku no mune wa netsu o obite yuku
koko e oide
subete ga utsuro ni
nomikomarete kowareru hi mo
kimi o kazoetai

In your poison,
In the temperature of your hand,
My heart is drowning in a feverish feeling.
Come to this place.
Even on days when
Everything is empty, and is swallowed by ruin,
I want to count you.

Di dalam kehadiranmu yang memabukkan,
Di dalam temperatur tanganmu,
Hatiku tenggelam dalam perasaan hangat
Datanglah ke mari.
Bahkan ketika
Semuanya kosong, dan telah ditelan oleh kehancuran,
Aku ingin tetap percaya padamu.
叫びを上げるために 今 飛び立とう
愛の詩(うた) 語らうために
僕が熱を失くして 地へ堕ちたなら
この殻を 両手で 拾って
sakebi o ageru tame ni ima tobitatou
ai no uta katarau tame ni
boku ga netsu o nakushite chi e ochita nara
kono kara o ryoute de hirotte

In order to yell now, I fly.
In order to sing a song of love.
If I lose my feverish feeling, and fall to the ground,
Then pick up up my shell with both your hands.

Supaya aku dapat berteriak, sekarang aku terbang,
Untuk menyanyikan lagu cinta.
Apabila aku kehilangan perasaan hangat dalam dadaku, dan jatuh ke tanah,
Ambillah cangkangku yang kosong dengan kedua tanganmu.
「儚キ 空蟬ヲ 脱ギ捨テタラ  
君ハ 飛ベルダロウ 独リデモ」
"hakanaki utsusemi o nugisuteta nara
kimi wa toberu darou hitori de mo"

"IF YOU THROW OFF THE FLEETING, TRANSIENT WORLD,
YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FLY, EVEN IF YOU ARE ALONE."

"JIKA KAU MEMBUANG DUNIAMU YANG AKAN BERLALU INI,
KAU AKAN BISA TERBANG, BAHKAN SAAT KAU SENDIRI."
此処へおいで
心重ねよう
君の棘を 取り去ってあげる
頬を濡らす 大粒の雨を
時の針を 止めるような
接吻交わそう
koko e oide
kokoro kasaneyou
kimi no toge o torisatte ageru
hoo o nurasu ootsubu no ame o
toki no hari o tomeru you na
kuchizuke kawasou

Come to this place,
And let us overlap our hearts.
I will take out your thorns.
In the rain of big drops that wets your face,
As if the needle of time has stopped,
Let us share a kiss.

Datanglah ke mari,
Dan marilah kita satukan hati kita
Aku akan mengambil semua duri yang menusukmu dari dalam
Di dalam hujan, di dalam butiran-butiran air yang membasahi wajahmu,
Dan seakan-akan jarum waktu berhenti,
Marilah kita berciuman.














~Let me be your illuminating shield...~

Okay........

GW UDAH SMA, SODARA-SODARA.

Pertama, gw mau ngucapin:

HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY DREAMING IN THE DAWN!

Rasanya kemaren gw baru aja nulis entry tentang ini blog udah dua tahun nemenin gw nyampah, jadi tumpahan segala kegalauan gw, kalo gw ngga suka di sekolah ato setres ato apapun, gw larinya ke sini. Beneran deh, sumpah, dari semua blog yang gw punya di hosting manapun, blog ini yang bertahan paling lama. Isi paling banyak, gw seneng banget ngeliat entry-entry di jaman dulu pas gw masih abal-abal ababil ahahah. 

Gw soriiiiii banget baru balik. Gw udah SMA, sodara-sodara. Dan gw kelas X-1, kelas gw bakal sama untuk tiga tahun ke depan. Maklum program khusus, cuma satu kelas. Gw cerita sama si lampu, dan dia bilang "gila, gw jadi lo bakalan bosen setengah mati gw" =)) gw bilang "nasib oi, gw udah terima nasib wakakakaka". 

TAPI, KELAS GW DONG. BELOM TAHUN AJARAN MULAI, UDAH GOKIL, UDAH NGAJAK RIBUT SAMA GURU WAKAKAKAKAK =))=))=));;;;;

Gw akhir-akhir ini....makin inaktif aja dari dunia RP, mungkin sebentar lagi gw berhenti sama sekali. Udah kaga ada niat, waktu juga makin nggaada. Gw makin masuk aja ke dunia GFX, makin lama makin jarang nengok RPFs. OG aja, gw hiatusin anak gw di sana karena gw bener-bener webe alias writer block. Ngga ada inspirasi. Paling CRP lewat YM, ato ga lewat sms. Itupun kalo gw ada pulsa.

Apalagi ya. Gw udah ngga ada lagi yang perlu diceritain sih. Segitu dulu aja, nanti lain kali gw tulis deh tentang impression gw pas dengerin Laylania (Shikata Akiko) plus nonton 07-Ghost (anime that I ACTUALLY MANAGED TO FINISH ORZ.)

Baibai~

~Let me be your illuminating shield...~