Confession of My Feelings: Part II

Yak...Selamat malam semuanya
Karena mau tahun baruan, gw mau mengungkapkan semua perasaan gw sebenernya.

I miss my old days...I miss the past, which is already gone and will be never happen again...
I miss my old days when I around that place...
I miss the days when I joke together, when I laughing all by myself in the front of computer because of that crazy fanfic: Confession in Farewell -Restricted-
I miss the days I was trying to help Admins and Moderators, tell them what is the best behavior in my opinion
I miss the days when I welcomed the new members with another people: Onii san, Mimo, Seizan...
I will always remember the day I was scolded by Hime san, because I don't obey the rules accidentally...I just want to tell you Hime san, I'm really sorry...
Yet, I miss the days when I sitting down in front of my computer, trying to pull up another joke in my fanfict...
Yes, I still miss the days when I yelled at the forum...I yelled at everyone to calm down at the moment.
Yes, I miss it.
I miss the day when I involved with a conversation about 2012 and later involved in a conversation with novada san. He said I should enter Social study when I'm at high school since I'm a good speaker and able to argue with anyone and win the argument.
Honestly, I really miss those days.
I miss the days when I trying to giving some advice to some member that is still new around that place, told them to read the rules first so they don't have to be scolded again like I did.
I miss the days when I discussing in Shoutmix with the founder, about the skins that is better for that place.
I miss the days when I spent my time at that time, in Chatbox, crazily yelled and laughs, until I realized I stayed up too late.
I miss the days when I laugh because of Wataru, and Onii san. Yeah, those two are really good at cracking jokes.
...
...
...

I miss those days...Those warm days.

I thought I can vanishing those feelings running to Novo..Becoming a Mod there.
But I can't.
I thought I can run away from those feelings by joining Pandora Hearts and become an RP Master there.
But I definitely can't.
And then I crush the Miracle of Heartless created by Echo, and becoming Admin there.
I thought by becoming a staff, I can escape my feelings.
But I know I can't.
That place is like a "second home" for me. Where I can talk freely about my feelings, giving advice to the others...

~Now that you're gone...My life scattered into pieces...I don't know where to turn...I don't have home to return~ Althea Razensky, my character.

...I think it's true truly.
Since that place gone...I dunno where to turn.
Since PLI's gone...I feel I don't have home to return.
.....
.....

You guys know? I always let out a tear slipped away when I think about it.
Fortunately, I've been used for it, so I hold my tear as long as I can, but in the end I'm always ending off accidentally slipped out a tear.
Why...?
Why did that place should disappear...?
WHY!?
IF YOU HOLD A PERSONAL GRUDGE, IT'S FINE...BUT WHY THE OTHERS!?
WHY, DAMMIT!?
YOU TRAITOR! THE HELL WITH YOU, DAMMIT!
YOU NEVER CONSIDERING THE OTHERS' FEELING! MAYBE YOU FEEL YOUR BURDEN HAS BEEN LIGHTEN WHEN YOU ERASED THAT PLACE BUT WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS!?
ANSWER ME, MAN!
YOU'RE...YOU'RE SICKO BASTARD! I HATE YOU!
You're a bastard. You don't take the responsibility for what you done.
And.
You're breaking Mizu's heart as you're one of most trusted person.
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DONE THAT FAR!?!?!?
......
......
......

Heh, gw tau meskipun gw marah-marah, ngamuk tapi nggak bakalan berubah keadaannya.
Tapi...
Setidaknya hati gw jadi lebih ringan.


~...To promise one heart is to hold one's heart. I'll never let you go.~